Ogoniok (Moscow) - December 8, 2008

The Company of the Year awards flavored with jokes

Last week, the RBC group of companies staged the official Company of the Year awards ceremony. Trophies were granted to 44 different companies. Interestingly enough, many guests of the drawn-out ceremony preferred to chat and lounge in the lobby, rather than watch its progress.

The events held by RBC every year are beginning more and more to resemble alumni reunions. They are attended by people, who, for the most part, only meet on such occasions and are only happy to do networking, sometimes even forgetting the reason why they have been summoned in the first place. On the other hand, they are always pleased with both the event and the company present. Of course, there are exceptions. For instance, when the leader of the Liberal Democratic Party of Russia Vladimir Zhirinovsky discovered that his former colleague Alexei Mitrofanov was also present, he watched carefully to avoid letting his route inside the Gostiny Dvor cross Mitrofanov’s path. Although he could not watch the movements of his former colleague openly, he certainly showed extreme virtuosity at the task.

President of Troika Dialog Asset Management Pavel Teplukhin, who was so slightly late for the ceremony that it did not even violate etiquette, encountered Vice President of TNK-BP Vladimir Ruga at the entrance. “I am already leaving. I have to get out of the city tonight!” Ruga hailed his friend cheerfully. “Some people sure know how to live,” Teplukhin said bitterly while looking after him. As usual, the guests were welcomed by RBC’s General Director Yury Rovensky, who reminded the newcomers of the award’s jubilee year. “As you see, the award is a peer of the ruble’s devaluation, therefore we won’t be disheartened. We’d better support those who particularly deserve it,” he said. The guests answered his call, although in a very peculiar manner. Instead of taking their seats in the hall and applauding the winners, many preferred to stay in the lobby and exchange jokes on the crisis.

“Next week, they will be giving out the Manager of the Year awards,” someone suddenly recalled. “Do you think we’ll have enough top managers by next week?” General Director of Alliance Continental Alexei Chalenko recounted to Timur Artemyev, former Euroset co-owner, his plans to move to Uruguay. “I already left word on odnoklassniki.ru (Note: a social network) that I now live in Montevideo.” He then went on to say that many businessmen had cut their lovers’ allowances to just gasoline and cellular communications expenses: “Just enough for her to call and come visit.” He did not, however, explain the link between the situation and his decision to move to Uruguay. The ceremony’s guests included radio presenter Roman Trakhtenberg, who was known to only a small number of people. President of Jurby Water Tech International Viktor Redko even tried to enquire who the person was. “I am President of VTB,” Trakhtenberg said jokingly. Yet Redko proved hard to fool: “I doubt a man with such a red beard could be president of such a large bank,” he responded.

Meanwhile, as manufacturing awards were all handed out, the ceremony moved on to awards for the services sector. “At last, we have new crisis jokes,” lawyer Vitaly Korzun opined. “Until recently, they had been re-telling jokes dating back ten years.” “We want examples!” the people around him cried. Korzun responded glibly, “Well, for instance, Polina Deripaska (the wife of the owner of Basic Element Oleg Deripaska) realized in the past month that she had married for love.”

The guests ventured to approach Gazprom Media General Director Nikolai Senkevich for a new joke, but he made clear early on that he was in no mood to crack jokes that night. Aeroflot’s General Director Valery Okulov looked equally gloomy. In turn, General Director of the All-Russian Exhibition Center Magomed Musayev, who won an award in some of the categories, appeared happy and optimistic. State Secretary of the Union State of Russia and Belarus Pavel Borodin was perhaps the only person who smiled more radiantly than Musayev. He told no jokes, though he did appeal to everyone to follow his example and take a philosophical approach to things.

The ceremony finally wrapped up as soon as President of CROS Public Relations Company Sergei Zverev received his award in the last of the special categories, and the guests hurried off to restaurants. “Next year, they will probably just hold the awards ceremony at McDonald’s,” they said jokingly at parting.